yoga changes life , at least mine

It is been a while since i last log in and write something new and inspiring.

I have been searching for my lost soul and trying to figure out about life and wonder if i ever heal again and be happy. Thanks to yoga and inspiring teacher that helps me go through the bad times. All i needed was space , space, space and space.

It's amazing to realize how i can change a little in few months just by yoga-ing. :) Other than getting a healthier body, more flexible hamstring, it changes the way i live and how i see life.

I am now....

Happy
Despite that the pills that my doc gave to help me on my emotion and period cycle ( which is not very yogic at this point. well i believe, if i live well, eat well, i do not need pills), i have stop crying , self pity,  being depress for at least 2 months now. I am moving forward , looking forward to every little thing that is happening in life and it makes me happy. Happiness can be very simple, only if u have stop wanting and expecting too much.

I used to think dining in fancy restaurant , buying more clothes and shoes, makes me happy. But, when u realize nothing really matters anymore than u are breathing and living with a healthy body , that is more than enough, isn't it? I am no longer craving for good food, fancy restaurant or more expensive designer's bag to make me happy. I am happy with what i have now. I am happy i am still able to practice yoga, to work, to give, to teach, to love again. I am happy to wear old clothing, to dine in any restaurant that my lunch cost me only MYR 3.90 to fill my stomach. All this makes me happy. The changes in life make me happy :)


Non attachment 
This is an important part of me.
I am so attached to everything that i have, my clothes, begs, shoes, books, cosmetic, yoga stuff, friendship, relationship, everything that probably belongs to me. I cant let go of anything. I could not sleep for a day or two if my favorite short is missing / stolen ( this happened, and i was in totally bad mood, skip dinner , sad)

My ex used to tell me this " baby, if we ever ended ( which is very true for now ), don't be sad, non-attachment liao, u are a yogi ". I told him this non attachment thing that i learn during my TTC patanjali  yoga sutra class - vairagya ( non attach).

Somehow, i could not let go utill i start to focus on yoga, meditating , giving my self space, doing alot of thinking on this non attachment issue that i have.

To me, i think being non attach simply means letting it go. Things happen for a reason, let it happen , accept it, let it go. We come here empty handed and we go empty handed too. So , we dont own anything in this life. Nothing! Whatever we have now, its just temporary. Nothing will last and be forever. Not even the earth will stay as it is forever. So, why stress out over little thing and keep holding it till we cant breath or take it no more. This makes me move on alot . I gave away all my cloths that i dont wear them anymore ( i dont give or donate cause i simply think its mine , mine and mine), i sold off my yoga mats that i bought them simply because i want them at certain point that i dont need them now ( i have my one and only mat that i used 5 years back and it is still in good shape), i keep aside those stuff that reminds me of my last relationship ( photoss...ouch..)My friend once asked me, if u can let it go already , why are u still keeping the gifts and stuff. My reply goes like this.. " if i can already let it go, why do i bother whether this stuff will still remind me of him? after all, those gifts are really useful gifts, mostly yoga stuff :) and i love them! . I moved on by thinking that god has his plan for each of us and maybe we are just not faith to be each's other soul mate for this life. Things happen for a reason and if there is someone needed him or make him happy than i do, i should be happy for everyone. I read this online and its very inspiring .. " if its good, its wonderful .If it's bad, its experience" ( quote and unquote from  My sanctuary yoga facebook page)


To awss.. thank you for all that u gave in our relationship for the last 3 years. I have learned to love, to give and to let go. You might not complete my life , but you were my journey . 




I believe the gift of yoga will be the journey of life. Keep practicing and be present :)